Mirrorless cameras: Photography’s new decisive moment

Camera-makers are rushing to release full-frame mirrorless cameras packed with new features.
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Real Men Share: The Moment I Knew I Was Ready to Get Married

Was it love at first sight? A certain milestone or a special experience? Ten married men reflect on the moment they just knew they had found The One.


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Beauty Tips & Secrets From the Hottest Pop Stars of the Moment

They’re killer performers—and not only because they can sing. The stars of the pop world have elaborate, over-the-top looks that beg you to grab a round brush for more than just lip-synching.
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There’s a magic moment when you find the perfect product—it works exactly how you want it to; it makes you look great; it’s life changing; it’s…gone. Falling for a beauty product that’s destined to disappear is inevitable. And trust us, even beauty editors aren’t immune. We’ve had our fair share of discontinued-product blues, and after the anger, sadness, shock, and denial that follows, we’ve also found new options to fill those empty spots in our makeup bags and medicine closets.
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Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder’s Beyond-Stunning Cannes Red Carpet Moment

Le sigh. Newlyweds Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder walked the red carpet at Cannes yesterday, and they both looked so sophisticated, so classic, and so crazy-good stunning, it feels utterly possible that no married twosome has ever looked so very perfect on that iconic carpet.

nikki-reed-ian-somerhalder-cannes-red-carpet-youth-2015

Nikki wore a navy couture Azzaro gown with a spray of coral at the left shoulder, while Ian chose a traditional tux. The appearance was also the first time we’ve gotten to properly scope out their wedding rings (and see Ian helping his new wife with her train, which is basically the sweetest).

All caught up on your Nikki and Ian news?
The twosome had a swoonworthy tropical honeymoon after a paparazzi-free wedding.





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Photos Capture Tender Moment When Man Surprises His Wife In Hospital On Their 57th Anniversary

The sweet story of an elderly man’s tuxedoed surprise for his wife on their 57th anniversary has spread like wildfire on the Interwebs this week as netizens everywhere celebrated the Georgia couple’s enduring love.

James “Jim” Russell told ABC News that he and his wife Elinor don’t typically celebrate their wedding anniversaries in a big way, but this year, his family encouraged him to do something extra special.

So on May 20, Russell — who says he’s known Elinor “since she was in pigtails” — donned a tuxedo and, bearing an armful of flowers and chocolates, surprised his beloved in her hospital room. Elinor has reportedly been hospitalized for the past month.

The couple shared a meal in her room, then watched her favorite TV shows. Elinor told ABC News that the duo “had a wonderful time.”

“Being in a hospital bed, you get bored so when they came in, it made me smile like the younger days when we were dancing,” she said.

The couple’s granddaughter, Reid Russell, shared photographs of the special occasion on Twitter this week. Her tweet promptly went viral, racking up more than 25,000 retweets.

On Thursday, Russell wrote that she was “blessed” to have her grandparents in her life.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
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We Are in a Wonder Woman Moment

My 2-year old daughter plays on the beach in a tiny red, white and blue swimsuit, her chest emblazoned with a winged yellow “W” that needs no explanation. Unlike Dora the Explorer and Ariel the Mermaid, cutesy characters popular with the toddler set, Wonder Woman is a full-grown Amazon, created in 1941 by William Moulton Marston to serve as “psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should rule the world.”

Yet, the kiddie bathing suit didn’t come from a hipster purveyor of “feminist baby clothing,” but mass-market Old Navy, advertised without apparent contradiction alongside pink sparkly ballerina dresses and “Daddy’s Little Girl” pajamas. Similarly, Under Armour, the sports-apparel giant with the macho street cred of being the official NFL outfitter, has authored a “womanifesto,” enacted in part in the release of fitted Wonder Woman tops and SuperGirl sports bras. Warner Brothers will begin shooting a Wonder Woman feature film this fall.

Seventy-four years after Wonder Woman’s birth, we are in the throes of a full-blown Wonder Woman moment.

Three new, very different books participate in this Wonder Woman frenzy and try to explain it. Together, Debora Spar’s Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection (2013), Jill Lepore’s The Secret History of Wonder Woman (2014), and Noah Berlatsky’s Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in the Marston/Peter Comics, 1941-48 (2015) pose common questions: Who is Wonder Woman? What is Wonder Woman’s relationship with the history and, more excitingly, the future of feminism, particularly in a moment when women are both exhausted and excited by the desire to gracefully have and do “it all,” superhero-style?

Spar never mentions Wonder Woman, but her legacy is clear for contemporary women in the near-manic pursuit of superwoman status in the form of the perfect job, family, hair and waistline undertaken by many girls and women in our so-called “postfeminist” era. It is Spar’s unlikely status as a feminist theorist –she at one point describes feminism as a movement “greedy to its core” — that yields Wonder Women’s freshest and most jarring insights. She engages feminist theory seriously, even if to express disappointment with what it offers today’s women and girls hell-bent on achieving Wonder Woman status.

For example, Spar concedes that conventional notions of beauty primarily function to oppress women, but declares it unrealistic to jettison the demands of the beauty-industrial complex. Indeed, she acknowledges that amid her intense responsibilities, she expends energy taming her curly, ethnic hair into what is widely, if problematically, considered a more professional style. Spar supplements this apparently mundane admission with a fascinating calculation: over a lifetime, women lose five years attending to basic ministrations like manicures and makeup which, by middle age, intensify into a veritable “arms race of enforced youth.” These facts are unsurprising, though Spar’s honesty is: Admitting participation in mainstream beauty culture has been rightly called the last feminist taboo, and is rarely addressed beyond shadowy corners of the feminist blogosphere. This is a notable contribution given abundant research indicating that women of all backgrounds devote economic and emotional energy to their physical appearances.

But as the historical treatments offered by Lepore, and even more so, Berlatsky, show, Spar’s coiffed, overachieving, wife-to-be is definitively not the evil-avenging, otherworldly, ambiguously-but-explicitly sexual Wonder Woman that Marston envisioned. The two might converge in the marketplaces of 2015, but this speaks primarily to the fluidity of Wonder Woman as a cultural symbol, rather than to her limits.

Historian Jill Lepore explores the “secret history” of both Wonder Woman the comic book series and Wonder Woman the cultural icon. Through extensive archival research and in luminous prose, Lepore primarily traces the career and personal life of Marston, who conceptualized Wonder Woman in the early 1940s. Most salaciously, Lepore reveals his secret, “non-conformist” polyamorous domestic arrangement, which included not only Sadie Elizabeth Holloway, his wife and longtime sweetheart, but also Olive Byrne, his undergraduate student who mothered two of his children, and other itinerant “love leaders” who convened at gatherings Lepore calls a “sexual training camp.”

Wonder Woman emerged from this bizarre world, representing Marston’s fantasies, failures and contradictions. Imagined to incarnate a feminist ideal of the perfect admixture of love, power and beauty, Wonder Woman was intended to counteract masculine exemplars of brutishness and indelicacy. In 1972, Gloria Steinem reflected on the Wonder Woman comics of her childhood and felt “amazed by the strength of their feminist message.” This is precisely the legacy one imagines Marston hoped for. By contrast, a central purpose of Lepore’s narrative seems to be to qualify the legitimacy of Marston’s feminism. For his supposed innovations in the field of psychology, Lepore points out his unseemly affinity for manipulating the emotional responses of young women. For the radical potential of Marston’s rejection of bourgeois marriage, Lepore intimates an environment of manipulation and duplicity.

Berlatsky, an expert in comics conversant in queer theory, arrives at almost the opposite conclusion through his close interpretation of Wonder Woman’s comic panels: Marston successfully reconciled the apparently incongruous acts of binding women in chains (among other ostensibly demeaning actions) and empowering them. Marston emerges as a creative genius, pioneering acceptance of female, alternative and queer sexualities a good three decades before the sexual revolution — and in a comic book, of all places. Berlatsky wholly rejects Lepore’s argument that the explicit examples of binding, chaining and whipping furnish clear evidence of the line where Marston’s feminism faded into fetish. To make this point, Berlatsky turns to feminist theories of rape to argue that even violent submission can bring erotic pleasure to apparent victims. In depictions of rape and incest, however, it requires a major analytical leap to discern the “feminist vision… at the heart” of Marston’s vision. At the same time, Berlatsky’s insightful interpretation of the comics illuminates many subtle examples of sexualized content that, taken together, convincingly suggest a liberatory agenda not apparent in Lepore’s reading.

A shared engagement with the cultural product that is Wonder Woman unites these three diverse books. It is truly remarkable to consider that the same symbol can plausibly suggest hypersexual lesbian ecstasy (Berlatsky) and symbolize the supremely conventional dream of a “white wedding… in Vera Wang” (Spar). Wonder Woman represents at once everything and nothing, but thanks to these three books, we now have a much better sense of who exactly is inspiring us, and how we might embrace, but not enforce, Wonder Woman’s example on ourselves, each other and our girls.

A longer version of this review essay was originally published at Public Books.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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The Watershed Moment Non Certified: The Zen guide to Artificial Intelligence

The Watershed Moment Non Certified: The Zen guide to Artificial Intelligence


The watershed Moment Non Certified is a book on Artificial Intelligence development. It delves into electronic sensory design and robotics combined with cognizant engine development. In the pages of this book, I teach you how to build your very own cognizant robot that is aware of touch, taste, smell, feel, thought processing, conversation assembly and over 20 circuit sensory inputs to make it aware of its environment I show you the compartments of the human brain beginning with the Truine Brain or Neomammalian Complex with active Limbic System and on to more advanced evolved Paliomammalian Complex with sensory combined with active Limbic Systems. It utilizes the YaPanda Engines running parallel to one another processing pattern recognition and assembling memories to create a complex Bayesian Neural Network. I provide all code and a website to download programs to assist you in your development of your cognizant Robot. This is version one of many books in this series that I plan to write. If you can use an online Email then you can build your own A.I. Engine. Learn the history of A.I. and see how the YaPanda engine is different than all the others. See how powerful this tool is to developing your A.I. applications while learning electronics, Basic Stamp and Arduino Programming interfaces. This book is the watershed moment of Artificial Intelligence!

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Mayim Bialik Reveals All About Sheldon and Amy’s Major Relationship Moment on Tonight’s Big Bang Theory

If you haven't watched tonight's episode of The Big Bang Theory yet and don't want to know what Sheldon and Amy decided to do, then stop reading any further. (If that's you, make sure to…




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Recognizing the Gift Each Moment Bears is a Mindfulness Practice

“Appreciation of life itself, becoming suddenly aware of the miracle of being alive, on this planet, can turn what we call ordinary life into a miracle. We come awake to such a realization when we recognize our connection to a spiritual dimension.” ~ Dan Wakefield

I am just now coming out of a weeklong physical challenge, having dealt with a nasty little virus that snuck up on me and really whacked me upside the head. The most startling part about this for me was that I never get sick. So, for the better part of five days, I was doing that metaphysical self-analysis thing. You know, the guilt trip, seeking the cryptic cause of the negative experience, blah, blah, blah. It’s a pointless exercise in feeling rotten about feeling rotten, but it seems that on special occasions, we all have the tendency to get out the hammer and start pounding. Fortunately, my prayer partner called me and pulled me out of that nosedive. As I regained my sense of the Beloved’s ever-presence, my mind began to focus on something a bit more productive, and in the process of evicting this visiting virus, I consciously invited it to be my master teacher of the moment.

However, the lesson I sought was not about what was in my consciousness to create such an experience but rather what I missed out on in my life while I was busy feeling rotten about feeling rotten. Here was my awareness: As I sat down this morning to write about these thoughts, I noticed a large vase full of beautiful roses sitting right there next to my computer monitor. My wife Diane has a talent for growing flowers, and I thought this was a lovely gift, her way of beautifying my office after a week of me hacking, drooling, spitting, and coughing all over the place. (I know, that’s gross, huh? That’s what she said too.) Well, I went to thank her for her thoughtfulness and told her that they would really brighten up my day! She looked at me, paused, and smiled curiously, saying, “I put those roses there four days ago, honey.” Four days ago! Now, that would not be such a bad thing had I not been sitting at my computer off and on for all those days, doing much of my usual business. Granted, I was a little less focused than normal, but nonetheless, there they were, glorious roses, in full bloom right in front of my nose. Had I not been so busy feeling rotten about feeling rotten, perhaps I might have seen the roses earlier and enjoyed them even more.

Life is like that, isn’t it? We can have the most glorious and beautiful gifts stuck right under our noses every day, but if we become overly preoccupied with the challenges that life is guaranteed to present, we never see the gift that lies in the moment at hand. In truth, we don’t need to be stricken with the inconvenience of a virus or other more serious maladies to be oblivious to the gifts of the moment, do we? Do you ever get to feeling badly that things seem to be going poorly in some area of your life? Do you ever get so caught up in the drama of what’s unfolding that you lose sight of the gifts that life is laying at your feet in every holy instant? If you do, stop and think about my roses. The gift was made long before I was ready to enjoy it; what a waste of that beauty! The beautiful gifts that life brings us every day are beyond measure, but we have to be willing to be mindfully present enough in the moment to see them. What gift has been laid at your feet today? Perhaps now would be a great time to stop, look down, and appreciate it, because as with my roses, it may not be there forever. Appreciate the gifts that life brings you in every moment. You deserve them.

This writing is an excerpt from Dennis’ book, The Art of Being – 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Dakota Johnson and Melanie Griffith’s “Oh, Mom” 50 Shades Moment Was the Best Thing That Happened at the Oscars

I think all of us, including Sean Penn and his sourpuss, are in agreement that the Oscars was a mixed bag (click here to see Anna separate the good from the meh). The red carpet,…




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Moment Of Glory The Year Underdogs Ruled Golf Moment Of Glory

Moment Of Glory The Year Underdogs Ruled Golf Moment Of Glory


Book annotation not available for this title.Title Moment of GloryAuthor Feinstein JohnPublisher Little Brown and CoPublication Date 20110519Number of Pages 357Binding Type PAPERBACKLibrary of Congress a hrefhttplccn.loc.gov targetLibrary of Congressa

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Stolen Moment of the Week: 50 First Jokes

Who: Kevin Barnett, Amber Nelson, Michael Che, Seaton Smith, Joyelle Johnson, Janelle James
Where:

The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Brooklyn, NY
When:
January 2, 2015
What:
Backstage after 50 First Jokes is one of the best parties of the year. A couple hundred more photos from the show are here.

Stolen Moment of the Week is a series featuring the work of photographer Mindy Tucker, who has been documenting the comedy scene in New York for the last seven years. Each week, Tucker picks her favorite image from one of the many stages, green rooms, after parties and private sessions she shoots, and gives you the details behind it.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Marker Moment Pant – Men’s

Marker Moment Pant – Men’s


Marker Moment Pant – Men’s: features • Synthetic Insulation • Brushed Tricot Seat and Knees • Scuff Guards • Thigh Cargo Pocket • Gripper Elastic Gaiter • 10K/10K (Waterproof/Breathable) materials Fabric: 100% Polyester 150D 5.0oz/yd Size: S, M, L, XL Insulation: 60g
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Director Ava DuVernay’s Full Circle Family Moment Filming | Oprah Prime | OWN

Selma director Ava DuVernay was on home soil while directing the Martin Luther King Jr. biopic on location in Montgomery, Alabama. Ava’s father grew up in Montgomery during the civil rights movement, and her parents still live right outside the city.

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Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Now This Is the Carrie Mathison Moment We’ve All Been Waiting For

If season three of Homeland was dedicated to finally breaking up with the no-good-for-anyone Brody, season four was—through its penultimate episode—a most successful rebound: The spy thriller returned to its addictive glory with new villains,…




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Angelina Jolie’s Biggest Moment Of 2014 Isn’t What You Thought It Was

One of the biggest moments in celebrity news this year was when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt quietly tied the knot in France in late August. But apparently, that’s not the first memory that came to Jolie’s mind when People asked her to reflect back on 2014:

“My son [Maddox] became a teenager,” the 39-year-old told People. “That was a marker in my year,” she said.

“More than anything, like any mom, I’m just happy the kids are healthy. I married their dad. My health is good,” the mother of six added.

Jolie made sure that their children played a major role in every step of their wedding ceremony. She walked the aisle with her eldest sons, Maddox, 13, and Pax, 11. Zahara, 9, and Vivienne, 6, threw flower petals, while Shiloh, 8, and Knox, 6, served as ring bearers. Jolie’s ivory satin Atelier Versace wedding dress was adorned with dozens of her children’s designs and drawings.

Though she got married, starred in “Maleficent” and directed the upcoming film “Unbroken,” Jolie’s biggest memories of this year will always involve her children. That’s one proud mama.

Read more in People magazine’s latest issue, on newsstands Friday.

angie

Weddings – The Huffington Post
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Kate Upton Has A Marilyn Moment During Windy Photo Shoot

The wind got the best of Kate Upton’s skirt during a recent photo shoot in sunny Miami.

Upton had a Marilyn moment when the black and white skirt she was wearing blew up in the wind during a photo shoot on the terrace of a private residence Saturday. Paparazzi photos showed her laughing at the minor wardrobe mishap.

The 22-year-old was in her home state shooting for Express’ latest clothing campaign.

“It’s really exciting for me to be the brand ambassador for Express this year because it is a brand that I have grown up with and always wear,” Upton told People after shooting the fall ads back in June. She said her first piece of Express clothing was “definitely a tank top — I grew up in Florida!”

kate
Style – The Huffington Post
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The Moment in Madison Square

My feet pounded hard into the pavement as I turned the corner onto Bull Street.  My camera slammed against my hip over and over again as I hurried toward the south, anxious to beat the rain that threatened in the distance.  As I approached Madison Square, I was slowed by the gaggle of teal-clad women ahead of me, tiptoeing with trepidation across the street so as to not dirty their shoes or, even more importantly, drop the handfuls of white wedding dress they carried.  Coming back to myself, I watched them delicately and carefully carry the bottom of Bride’s dress over the bricks as her crinoline crinkled around her with every step.  Reaching the square, I crossed to the other side to continue on my way.

That’s when I saw him.

There was Groom, standing with his back turned in the middle of the square, looking down squarely at his shoes.  He stood perfectly still, hands clasped, his eyes turned down and shoulders locked.  Like a soldier at the ready, he waited for her.

All at once, I was overcome with the weight of the moment and I found I couldn’t take another step.  Suddenly very aware of my frizzy hair and rumpled t-shirt, I scurried to a more conspicuous spot to make sure I didn’t inadvertently wind up in someone’s living room photo album.  I retreated to behind a tree, my destination all but forgotten, and watched.

In mere seconds, I was undone.  Under the canopy of the Savannah oaks, the gravity of the moment came barreling into my chest and before I knew it, the tears had started to drop from my cheeks.

Bride, you looked absolutely breathtaking.  I could go on and on about that mermaid style dress and how it was perfectly suited for you, how the simple pearls you wore around your neck danced a bit as you took deep breaths.  But my dear, it was your eyes that held my attention.  Your bridesmaids fluttered about you, arranging your dress, tucking a small lock of hair behind your ear, spreading your veil out perfectly behind you, but you didn’t really even notice they were there.

Your eyes never left him.  

Groom, you were unmoved.  Resolute to fight the temptation to wheel around to lay eyes on her, you stayed.  Hands clasped and eyes locked on the ground, you waited as the anticipation filled the space between you.  She continued to gaze at you, watching you as your mind swirled with thoughts of her.

Then just like that, you saw me.  Groom, you lifted your head and your eyes came away from your shoes and fixed on the woman on the bench with the teal iPhone lifted in your direction.  At the very same moment that your eyes met mine, Bride’s eyes dropped for an instant to compose herself before taking her first step toward you.

For that split second, it was just you and me.

I wanted to tell you so many things.  I wanted to tell you how beautiful she looked, how she smiled at you with such joy, and how I could see how much she loved you even from behind a tree across the square.

But I also wanted to tell you that this moment doesn’t last forever.  I wanted to tell you about the unmet expectations you are guaranteed to struggle with, the confusion you will experience, the late-night arguments, and the frustration when she just doesn’t understand.  I wanted you to know about the incredible blessing of children and their uncanny ability to simultaneously strengthen and break you.  I wanted to tell you about the shift that happens inside of you when that ring goes on your hand.  That suddenly your life is no longer about you, that it must become about her.  That gorgeous creature behind you is looking to you to carry her, to cover her, to lead her, to hold her, to protect her. 

Her eyes lifted and she took that first slow, purposeful step toward him.

Do you know why I was in Madison Square that day?  I was on my way to Forsyth Park to see the fountain and walk the oak-covered path.  I wanted to ask a kind stranger to take a photo of my husband and I in front of the fountains, one I could frame and hang on the wall to commemorate our trip to Savannah to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

But he wasn’t there.

I sat in that square alone that afternoon because we had a fight.  I wanted to go to Forsyth Park right that very instant because the clouds in the distance were threatening to rain on my parade, so we needed to get a move on.  After a three-hour walking tour of the city in the morning and more walking on the agenda for the evening, he was more interested in taking a bit of a rest in between so as not to burn out before dinner.  I was unwilling to relinquish my hold on my precious itinerary, so I stormed off in a huff, determined to just go by myself, thankyouverymuch.

I entered Madison Square angry, disappointed, frustrated, and annoyed.

But you, Bride and Groom, helped remind me of what was truly important. God brought me to that exact square, at that exact moment for a very specific reason.  He wanted me to see YOU.

He wanted to remind me of the slow, purposeful steps that it takes to sustain a marriage over a lifetime.  He wanted to make sure that I remembered that he was the one who joined us together ten years ago and no matter what struggles, betrayals, unmet expectations, and disappointment came our way, he would never leave us or forsake us.  He wanted me to remember the way that Evan looked at me on that day, ten years ago, full of the same love and adoration I saw on the faces of Bride and Groom.  I realized that I still catch him looking at me that way, even now.  He wanted to gently tell me that ten years is only the beginning for us, that he had some fantastic things in store for us and many more memories for us to make, maybe even some to photograph and hang in a frame on the wall.

Bride and Groom, I wish you abundant blessings.  I hope your wedding day was everything you dreamed it would be and that the rain that drenched us later as we walked through Bonaventure Cemetery didn’t disrupt your celebration too much.

I’m grateful to have been privy to this moment between you even more thankful for the things it gave me to think about as I continued on to Forsyth Park on my own.  I took a super-lame fountain selfie and returned to the hotel where Evan and I talked about our disagreement that afternoon and moved past it.  We laced up our walking shoes to go grab a coffee down the street and I told him all about the moment I saw you in Madison Square. 

My super-lame fountain selfie.  🙂

 
Weddings – The Huffington Post
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Marcus and Richard Share a Moment – For Better or Worse – Oprah Winfrey Network

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Marcus and Richard bond over their mutual contempt for Keisha. Richard opens up about his messy divorce from her, and they both share their concerns about Dominique.

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The Moment I Knew I Had To Break Up With My Best Friend

By Jean Hanff Korelitz

The author of the page-turning You Should Have Known explains how she knew when her toughest relationship had ended& — and why.

I can barely remember what the argument was about, but I do remember the tiny, irrelevant details: midmorning sun on the extremely white pavement, the smell of some very sweet flower I couldn’t quite identify, someone’s cat watching from a window across the street and the steep decline of the street Molly and I were standing on, which was heading downhill fast, like—not to put too fine a point on it—our friendship. A friendship that had lasted nearly 30 years, but had only moments left to run.

Okay, okay, I do remember what we were arguing about, but now, eight years later, the specifics are so laughably stupid that revealing them makes us both sound like ridiculous children fighting over a bit of colored plastic at the nursery school. The argument was about driving, which I was afraid to do in San Francisco, where Molly lived and where I was visiting. We were fighting about the fact that I had not rented a car at the airport like a normal person, and now Molly would have to drive me somewhere we both wanted to go (which was not the problem), but then she would also have to take me somewhere only I needed to go, and where she did not wish to go (which was very much the problem). On and on it went, only it wasn’t actually an argument, I realized, because I wasn’t saying anything. I was standing still and listening as she harangued and criticized, as I had stood still and listened so many times before.

The pavement. The flower. The watching cat. The steep decline of that San Francisco street.

At some point, I must have realized that I was crying, but that wasn’t the strangest thing. We’d argued so many times over the course of our difficult friendship, and probably I’d cried before, or stalked away feeling sullen and resentful, or rushed to call another friend and complain about how critical and punishing Molly was. There had been so many times, after some cutting remark, that we had temporarily stopped speaking—just long enough for me to remember how much I loved her, and how much she loved me and that she did not intend the things she sometimes said to be unkind. A few weeks or a month or two would pass, and then Molly would be on the phone, letting me know that she was heading to the East Coast, or I would call her to tell her about some great thing I had found at the flea market, and we would proceed.

Then I realized that I was crying because I had figured out that Molly and I were never going to speak to each other again; this time, when she called or emailed me after a month, or six months or a year, I was not going to pick up the phone or email her back. Right now, right here on the street, I was giving up. Finally.

***

We had started our friendship during the first freshman week of college, both of us newly arrived in our so-called adult lives. Molly was beautiful and smart and wildly talented as an artist. I thought she was a superwoman, and she must have felt something similar about me because, for my birthday that year, she drew a cartoon of me amid all of my perceived accomplishments at college: a pen! an oar! a stack of books! It was a glowing, idealized version of me, and I loved it. It also led to our first major fight.

I had loaned her some money. Some time later, and short of money, myself, I asked for it back. Perhaps, she suggested, while furiously writing me a check, she ought to deduct the cost of art supplies for my birthday gift. We didn’t speak for the next three years.

Then we tried again, reuniting, with relief, after graduation, as if college—not the intersection of our personalities—had been to blame. I had gone abroad to study, returning with the man I would marry. She was living in New York, working in advertising, but not on the creative side where she belonged; instead, her smarts and
competence began to take her deeper and deeper into a marketing career she could never make peace with, let alone love. She met a co-worker and moved west with him. In 1987, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. The following year, I was matron of honor in hers.

So far so good, right? Two women who loved and admired each other, who wanted happiness and success for each other, who were living on opposite sides of the country with their new husbands—mine liked her, hers liked me—but were closely in touch, nonetheless. I must have left something out, right?

I have left a few things out.

For example, the anxiety she had struggled with since childhood. The intense self-focus that arose from that anxiety. The constant negativity and criticism. Sometimes, she showed such cruelty in the way she spoke about other people (a mutual acquaintance, a stranger on the street, a celebrity, or me) that I thought she could not possibly realize what she was saying. “Oh I can’t believe you have that bag.That is just disgusting,” she announced once, at a dinner party. She meant the 30-year-old Hermès Kelly handbag I had just bought on eBay, after having pined for one for more than a year. There was a moment of stunned silence in the room. I sat very still, as always, embarrassed (for her? for myself?) and trying to move past the comment. She loved me, I knew that. But her habit of wounding me so casually—what did it mean?

Still, no cutting remark directed at another person came close to the criticism she leveled at herself. Molly could take no pleasure in her accomplishments, her beauty, her strong marriage. There were many times I would hang up the phone in despair over her crushing unhappiness. I couldn’t fix it and she didn’t want it to be fixed, so we were both frozen in place.

***

Why did it take so long? I wonder now. Was it because she had been my “best friend” for so long, because we had so much history, we had been “through so much” together? Maybe I knew how important our long friendship was to her, and worried that withdrawing from it would give her new ammunition with which to beat up on herself. Maybe I was just pathetic and weak, and took it for years because I couldn’t stick up for myself. Maybe all of this was true.

I’m a novelist by trade, but every one of us conjures a story for the people in our lives: his terrible childhood, her inability to trust, this child’s yearning for stability. My narrative for Molly was that she was so encased in her own suffering that she truly did not experience her anger and need for control as real…but eventually a great and happy day would come when she would accept that she was all of the things I plainly saw—stunning and smart and talented and deserving of love—and how much happier and more at ease in her own life she would be then! I believed that for years. I persuaded myself of that for years.

Until, that day in San Francisco, when I found that I no longer had it in me to keep this fiction alive. I suppose these epiphanies happen all the time, to people everywhere. One moment, you’re listening to the same internal justifications you’ve listened to countless times before; the next moment, you have passed through some unseen membrane, and from the other side you can suddenly hear yourself think—with crystal clarity: Oh, I understand. I’m done.

For months afterward, I talked about Molly incessantly, compulsively, with people who had known us both and with people who’d never met her. Did I do the right thing? I asked everyone. What should I have done? I wish I’d known, while it was actually happening on that San Francisco sidewalk, that I’d be okay, that I’d slowly move forward in my life
with other friends, some of whom had never met or even heard of Molly. That I’d celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary without her, and she—I suppose—would do the same without me. That a few months later, I’d be able to see the entire arc of our friendship, from its beginnings through its trials to its conclusion, and with that perspective would come a return of the vast affection I had always felt for her.

Even now, I truly and sincerely want her to be successful, fulfilled and surrounded by people who love her as much as I loved her, but who are also better equipped to tolerate what I had not been able to tolerate. Sometimes, old friends and family members ask me if I miss Molly, and the answer is yes, I miss her very much. But I don’t miss the friendship. I don’t miss the friendship at all.

Jean Hanff Korelitz is the author of You Should Have Known, The White Rose and A Jury of Her Peers.


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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Put Down That Smartphone!: Your Eye Contact Establishes Who Is the Most Important Relationship for You at any Given Moment (really, really)

Dear Ms. Huffington:

I believe that my wife can thrive — and reach her maximum potential — by attending the Thrive Third Metric event in NYC; and also reading your book on the subject. In fact, I am convinced that she is in dire need of understanding your Thrive Third Metric model.

My wife has many things in common with you: brilliant, enterprising, accomplished, devoted, kind; and possesses the sort of inner light, depth, and true elegance of special beings. However, she frequently is unable to disconnect. She seems to misplace her “off switch.” Often, she is a slave to technology. Far too often, a ring tone or vibration, from her smartphone elicits her immediate attention. She needs to understand your Third Metric “manifesto.” And she needs to understand that her eyeballs signal very potently, at every moment, who has the true priority of her quite formidable, yet human, attention span.

I bought a ticket for my wife to attend the Thrive Third Metric event on Thursday and Friday of this week. My wife was reluctant to take time from her duties to be in NYC for 48 hours. It wasn’t until you “touched her” that she relented. I am thankful to you. You see, my wife’s well-being is monumentally important to me. So much so, that I took the huge liberty of attempting to reach you “cold,” to ask for your help. My wife is capable of doing great things to benefit the communities she belongs to; if she doesn’t burn out. If she thrives.

All indications are that my wife will be at the New York City Center on this next Thursday and Friday. Thank you for taking the time, and making the effort, to send an email to my wife. And thank you for raising consciousness that the Third Metric is essential to thriving.

Sincerely,

Manuel R.D.J. vW.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Savor This Moment

“To everything — turn, turn, turn
There is a season — turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven”
— Turn, Turn, Turn by Pete Seeger, adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes.

When I look at a stand of bare trees in the cold solitude of winter, I can’t imagine what they look like in mid-summer full of leaves and life. Likewise, when I look at a mighty oak tree in the warm sun of July I can’t image what it looks like in stripped down winter silhouette.

Somehow my brain just won’t let this happen. I am generally able to hold two opposing thoughts in my head at once, yet when it comes to this one situation, I am unable to imagine one situation, while looking at the other.

During spring though, when the trees are filled with blossoms and new light green leaves, no longer just empty branches and before they grow big deep green leaves — I am able to see both worlds.

It may be clich&eacute to call spring a rebirth, maybe a reawakening is a better term?

In ancient times people used their surrounding environment to gauge what their actions should be. I think events such as the return of a tree’s leaves are chapters in the season’s book, and I believe flowers have always been characters that weave themselves through nature’s narrative.

Growing up in Rhode Island, I remember the crocuses literally pushing themselves up through the icy snow as the first sign of spring, long before the trees were even thinking about budding. I hear tell that the crocuses are just coming up this year, giving hope for an end to the epic winter New England has endured. On the heals of the crocuses are the yellow and white daffodils, then as the waters run free of ice and grass turns green again the tulips erupt across the landscape. This gives us mere mortals the needed faith to persevere as the days get longer.

As the iris bloom the trees blossom, cherry, apple and peach… and magnolia out West. The shade they provide will protect the long stemmed lilies which sneak up on us, as they take many weeks to grow but we don’t notice them until the blooms demand our attention.

Whether you celebrate Passover, Easter or Earth Day savor this moment.

Winter trudges through darkness and cold, summer with heat, humidity and daylight that never ends, followed by autumn with dry days and chilly nights, yet it is spring that nourishes our soul and allows us a to gather a years worth of energy, strength and faith.

Take deep breathes. The power of spring is upon us.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Meet Your New BFF — The Present Moment

When we treat the present moment, as a stepping-stone to the next moment, we are living out of alignment with life. Life only happens in the present moment. In this video, Eckhart Tolle talks about becoming friendly with the present moment.

All too often, we make the present moment into an enemy, something to overcome or get through as quickly as possible. We seem to believe that the next moment will be better. In our minds, the next moment holds the promise of happiness and fulfillment, but we are chasing a phantom, which never quite materializes. When we live this way we create a negative internal state of resistance that leads to unhappiness. Why not make the present moment your BFF?

For more from Eckhart Tolle, please click here.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Going for an AHA Moment: From Manolos to Meditation

When I decided I wanted to learn how to meditate, I went on a search to find the perfect place to do it. What I found was that it was not as easy as I thought it would be. Learning to meditate the right way was expensive; time-consuming (often two-hour time slots or six- to eight-week programs); and inconvenient (late-night classes). I wondered why there was no drop-in meditation studio for people like me with young children, jobs and limited time resources. Talk about an AHA moment! Suddenly, I could think of nothing else. In one split second — goodbye, fashion editor. Hello, spiritual entrepreneur.

The meditation studio I wanted to create would be clean, modern, secular and effortless to attend, with inspirational and user-friendly teachers. It would be a happy, friendly environment for both those who had never before meditated and those who understood it well, but still wanted to learn more. Never mind that I was hardly a yogi — or that my previous career had been as a fashion editor at Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire, and Glamour magazines. True to my optimistic nature, I figured, if I wanted such a place, so would everyone else.

I was on a mission to not only learn to meditate for myself, but to create the perfect place for others as well. Research was the best part. I took a four-day intensive Vedic meditation course, a six-week mindfulness course at UCLA, did four of Deepak and Oprah’s 21-day meditation series and took classes anywhere I could. I did one-on-one sessions with superior teachers like Steve Ross and Will Dalton, and consumed every book, blog and podcast I could find.

My meditation went something like this: breathe, focus, let go, fantasize (about how to make the classes better, shorter, more powerful), then back to my focus point.

So, with a limited budget, I gave myself a year to make this happen. I used my career as currency. In exchange for invaluable advice and services from my talented friends, I offered everything from hours of free media training to closet makeovers. Meetings about opening a new business are always stressful, but I sandwiched them in between interviews with prospective meditation instructors (the benefit being free, guided meditation for me). I’m sure I had the equivalent of two MBA degrees and a master’s in construction, but it was all worth it.

Unplug Meditation is the tangible result of a whirlwind year of planning and working to make an “AHA Moment” a reality. But the intangible results are immeasurable. I am much calmer than I ever was in my previous fashion life and far more passionate about what I am doing. And even though another side effect from meditation has been a lessening of my desire to shop, I can’t deny that I still appreciate a pretty pair of Manolo’s.

Unplug meditation studio opens next month. Check it out at unplugmeditation.com.

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Stolen Moment of the Week: The Keith and The Girl Marathon

2013-01-10-stolenmomentoftheweek2.jpg

Who:
Keith Malley and Chemda Khalili
Where:
Astoria, New York
When:
March 2, 2014
What:
Podcast pioneers Keith and The Girl hosted an ambitious 38 hour marathon of comedy from their studio in Astoria. I sat in for just a few hours on Sunday; more photos here.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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NYFW Makeup Moment of the Day: Degen’s Valley Girl Nails

NYFW beauty day 2Remember how yesterday was all about moody, smokey rock star black? Well today's beauty moment was all about the peppy chic and sunny spirit of the classic California Valley Girl. Specifically their rainbow-strewn, blue-sky-inspired nails.



Beauty | Women’s Lifestyle – Yahoo Shine
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